Let’s get real, men 50 and over. Is anything the same as it was at age 20 or 30?
Unlikely. And neither is your sex life or function below the belt.
Let’s face it: physiological issues start to catch up and take their toll at a certain age. As one brilliantly interconnected unit, one body function affects another. Anything from low T to high blood sugar can affect everything about you, from erections to mood and energy.
If you’re experiencing erectile or libido issues, you aren’t alone. A majority of men over age 50 admittedly do1. Later in life, it becomes a question of ‘when’ or ‘how often,’ not ‘if.’ However, you don’t have to throw in the towel on great sex.
While you can’t change how old you are, you can enjoy great intimacy at more mature life stages with these rarely discussed secrets:
Secret #1: Your Provider Can Help
Ask your doctor about improving your libido or erections. Your primary care doctor or a urologist can prescribe medications to help. They should also do a medical workup to determine biological root causes.
Check your current medications for sexual side effects. These common medications are known to affect sexual desire and performance:
- Antiandrogens (hormone-blockers that treat prostate cancer and hypersexuality)
- Antidepressants or Antipsychotics
- Antihypertensives (treat high blood pressure)
Recreational drug use, including marijuana and alcohol, can also hamper your sexual vitality.
Discuss any concerns with your doctor. They can help you find alternative medicines or initiate lifestyle changes to reduce your medications or recreational drug use over time.
If it’s a decrease in penis size that has you down, speak with a urologist or enhancement provider about bulking up down there. Non-surgical penile girth enhancement with dermal filler is a decades-old, proven, safe and effective method for penis enlargement. It’s safer and more affordable than you might think.
Secret #2: Improve Your Health; Improve Your Sex Life
You can’t eat and be a couch potato like you could in your youth. All those raging hormones in your glory days sped up your metabolism. But those hormones dwindle, your choices catch up to you, and your body’s fuel-burning ability slows after a certain age.
Maintaining a healthy weight, blood pressure, blood glucose, and cholesterol in middle age and beyond is challenging. These biological factors affect your cardiovascular system. And guess what your cardiovascular system impacts—your penis.
Improve your waistline; improve your sex life. You are more likely to experience issues with erectile dysfunction (ED) if you’re overweight or have high blood glucose, cholesterol, or blood pressure2.
The best remedy is straightforward but isn’t always easy or exciting. Eat healthy foods (lots of veggies and lean proteins). Exercise regularly (heart-strengthening cardio and muscle-building weight-lifting).
Talk to your doctor before beginning a fitness regimen. You’ll want a health assessment to ensure your body can handle increased exertion. If you haven’t exercised in years, gradually ease into a routine to avoid injuring yourself or overstressing your heart.
Secret #3: It Might Not Be Low T
It’s easy to buy into the narrative that low testosterone must be to blame for any penile dysfunctions. Supplement and topical cream companies are eager to sell you their testosterone-boosting “remedies.”
Don’t be fooled. Many over-the-counter testosterone products don’t actually do what they claim. Some have ingredients that could be detrimental to your health, especially ones with ingredients that interfere with your medication.
Only a medical professional can test your testosterone levels. Only a doctor licensed to prescribe that category of controlled substance can write you a prescription for a testosterone treatment.
Secret #4: Create Sexy Moments to Get Your Engine Going
These days, it might take a little bit more to jump start your engine or keep it going. Broaden your idea of intimacy. There’s more to enjoy with each other than just doing the do—a look, touch, or ambiance can create longer-lasting memories and excitement. Flirt. Date. Kiss. Experiment with toys. Find ways to pleasure each other that move beyond time between the sheets.
Secret #5: Schedule It
Scheduling sex isn’t shameful. It’s actually incredibly helpful to ensure you and your partner maintain that special bond that sex creates. And lots of people approach their sex life this way.
Life gets busy. One or both of you are exhausted by the end of the day. Waiting for sexy time to spontaneously pop off could have you waiting a really long time. And those habits tend to stick—the more sex you have, the more sex you have, and vice versa.
Compromise with your partner on days or frequency you’d like in a week or month. Stick to it. Get excited about it like it’s a special date night.
Bonus Secret: Talk About It
Speak with your partner about expectations. You two may have mismatched sex drives. Talking about it can help you create a compromise on how often you expect intimacy.
Understand that sex in your 50s, 60s, and 70s doesn’t have to look the same as in your 20s, 30s, and 40s to be good. Quantity doesn’t necessarily mean quality.
Your partner may also be experiencing biological changes that affect their drive or experience. Sex can become painful for menopausal or post-menopausal women (although if it does, they should speak to their provider about interventions for their hormone changes). That’s why it’s so vital to communicate with each other about it.
Consider counseling. It can help you and your partner find common ground. Additionally, a mental health therapist can help clear your mind of some heavy things hampering your performance in the bedroom.
Great Sex Over the Hill
Life’s one constant is that everything changes. Sex is no exception. While you may not perform like you did in your heyday, you don’t have to give up on your vitality at any age.
Talk with your healthcare provider about medications, health, and hormones. Speak with a men’s health provider about penis enlargement—the before and after may surprise you. Communicate with your significant other about feelings and expectations. Speak with a counselor for deeper-seeded issues that can affect sexual performance.
Lastly, schedule sex. You’ll be surprised how well planning for sex improves your frequency and quality.
1https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14634411/
2https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/erectile-dysfunction/symptoms-causes
