Sex is enjoyable and has many health benefits, too. It boosts your mood, strengthens the bonds between you and your partner, and reduces stress. Additionally, it improves sleep, health, cognitive functions, and a host of other things.
Sex can change over time as you age, and that’s okay. It makes sense that youthful sex morphs into more mature intimacy as you grow older or commit to one partner.
However, it’s not uncommon to desire more or different things sexually. Below, we share some tips to try if you’re having poor or too little sex.
1. Get a Physical to Get More Physical
If you or your partner find it hard to get in the mood, it could be due to biological reasons, especially once either of you reach your late 30s and beyond. For her, perimenopausal symptoms can start as early as her 30s and carry on for 10-15 years, reducing her sex drive, draining her energy, or making the act physically painful.
She can get help from a menopause or hormone specialist. Hormone therapy doesn’t have the cancer stigma it once did.
For you, blood flow problems could affect your penis health. Please consult a doctor if you experience issues getting and staying hard.
Your sex organ is kind of like the canary in the coal mine–something else is going on with you healthwise if it stops functioning normally. Talk to your primary care provider or a urologist. Ask for a complete workup. This could include blood tests, a stress/exercise test, and a hormone test for testosterone and other hormone levels.
2. Use Their Love Language
Foreplay can start long before you are ready to do it, and it doesn’t have to be very physical or time-consuming. Give your partner something they value according to five universally accepted categories of love languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
Look up fun and simple quizzes online to find out which one each of you is if you’re unsure. That way, you’ll understand your partner better, and they’ll get a hint to treat you according to your love language, too.
3. Take Care of Yourself
We mentioned your penis is like the canary in the coal mine–it’ll tell you when something is going awry in your body. Take better care of your health to also help your penis health.
Cut back on fatty meats, cheeses, and processed foods. Increase your intake of fresh and cooked vegetables. Drink less alcoholic beverages and smoke less. Engage in strengthening and cardio endurance exercises most days out of the week. You’ll improve your cardiovascular system and slow down the aging process, which improves blood flow to your penis and keeps your stamina alive.
4. Address Size Concerns
Often, men have concerns about their penis size. They would like to be bigger in girth or length, even though most fall into the average range for penis size. Not to mention, many shapes and sizes are pleasurable for intercourse.
Worrying about your penis size can cause undue stress. That stress can lead to performance anxiety and poor performance during sex. There’s no need for any guy to put up with that when they have safe and effective non-surgical penile enlargement options like hyaluronic acid girth enhancements at their disposal.
Dermal fillers help men who want to increase their penile girth. These fillers also make the penis hang lower, giving it a longer appearance. As a bonus, increased penis circumference pleasures partners more during intercourse as it provides more pleasurable friction to erogenous zones.
5. Handle Stressors
Stress is everywhere, from your job to your family to raising your children. We won’t tell you to eliminate stress, but learn to handle it better. Not handling stress can lead to poor performance in the bedroom.
Get a mental health coach to help you unpack your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms. At the very least, listen to free podcasts and online videos, or use apps that teach you to replace negative thoughts and self-talk with positive ones.
6. Build Stamina
If you’re not lasting as long as you’d like during intercourse, you might need some desensitization. More sex is the best way to achieve that. However, masturbating can also help boost your longevity.
It may shock you to learn that how you masturbate is important. Don’t rush through the “job.” Doing so could decrease your ability to last with a partner.
There’s a word for making sex last longer. It’s called stamina. Maintaining stamina includes preventing premature ejaculation (within a minute or two of partnered sexual activity).
Practice a start-stop technique during masturbation and sex to improve your stamina. Stop stimulation right before orgasm and start again after the heightened level of arousal has passed.
There are similar techniques in which you can stop and squeeze the head or the base of your penis. Experiment with these different strategies to find what you like best. With time, you’ll learn to control your orgasms and last longer with a partner.
7. Quit Watching Porn
Porn-watchers often buy into the fantasies these “movies” create. In turn, those beliefs start to negatively impact sex drive and performance, leading to decreased satisfaction. Avoid getting your sex education from actors on a screen.
Better Sex Starts With You
There’s no immediate fix for increasing your sexual stamina and prowess. Understand that sex changes based on your age and if you choose to commit to one partner. All of that is entirely normal and okay.
The good news is you can take steps to improve your sexual experiences by (and while) improving your overall health and wellness. Eat healthy and exercise. Give up some unhealthy habits. See a professional about penis enhancements if you’d like to be bigger.
And remember, sex is a two-way street. Concern yourself with your partner’s pleasure as much as your own, and you can enjoy great sex at any age.
