Let’s get real, men 50 and over. Is anything the same as it was at age 20 or 30?
Unlikely. And neither is your sex life or function below the belt.
Let’s face it: physiological issues start to catch up and take their toll at a certain age. As one brilliantly interconnected unit, one body function affects another. Anything from low T to high blood sugar can affect everything about you, from erections to mood and energy.
If you’re experiencing erectile or libido issues, you aren’t alone. A majority of men over age 50 admittedly do1. Later in life, it becomes a question of ‘when’ or ‘how often,’ not ‘if.’ However, you don’t have to throw in the towel on great sex.
While you can’t change how old you are, you can enjoy great intimacy at more mature life stages with these rarely discussed secrets:
Secret #1: Your Provider Can Help
If you’ve noticed changes in your desire, performance, or confidence, start with a conversation. A primary care doctor, urologist, or enhancement provider can walk you through options, explain what might influence your experience, and discuss next steps.
It may be useful to review your current prescriptions or lifestyle habits together, since these can play a role in how you feel.
And if it’s confidence about size that’s on your mind, you can also ask a urologist or enhancement provider about non-surgical procedures such as penile girth enhancement with dermal filler. A consultation is the best way to learn what the process involves, what to expect, and whether it feels right for you.
Secret #2: Improve Your Health; Improve Your Sex Life
The routines that worked in your twenties may not serve you the same way today. As time passes, your body and energy shift, and the impact of daily choices becomes more noticeable.
Healthy habits can make a big difference in how you feel overall and in how you show up in intimate moments.2 Consider focusing on:
- Balanced eating — more vegetables, lean proteins, and whole foods
- Regular movement — whether that’s walking, cardio, or strength training
- Consistency — small, steady changes add up over time
Before starting something new, especially if it’s been a while, check in with your doctor. They can help you ease into a routine that feels right for your body today.
Secret #3 Be Cautious About Quick Fixes
It’s easy to get drawn into ads suggesting that a single pill, gel, or supplement will solve every concern. The truth is that many products marketed this way often come with bold promises that don’t match reality.
If you’re curious about testosterone or have questions about how it might relate to your experience, the best place to start is with a qualified provider. They can explain what’s worth exploring, what’s not, and whether testing or a prescription could be part of the conversation.
When it comes to your health and confidence, leaning on professional guidance is always a smarter path than guessing with over-the-counter shortcuts.
Secret #4: Create Sexy Moments to Get Your Engine Going
These days, it might take a little bit more to jump start your engine or keep it going. Broaden your idea of intimacy. There’s more to enjoy with each other than just doing the do—a look, touch, or ambiance can create longer-lasting memories and excitement. Flirt. Date. Kiss. Experiment with toys. Find ways to pleasure each other that move beyond time between the sheets.
Secret #5: Schedule It
Scheduling sex isn’t shameful. It’s actually incredibly helpful to ensure you and your partner maintain that special bond that sex creates. And lots of people approach their sex life this way.
Life gets busy. One or both of you are exhausted by the end of the day. Waiting for sexy time to spontaneously pop off could have you waiting a really long time. And those habits tend to stick—the more sex you have, the more sex you have, and vice versa.
Compromise with your partner on days or frequency you’d like in a week or month. Stick to it. Get excited about it like it’s a special date night.
Bonus Secret: Talk About It
Have open conversations with your partner about expectations. Sometimes two people have different desires or energy levels, and talking it through can help you find a rhythm that works for both of you.
Intimacy doesn’t have to look the same at every stage of life. What mattered in your twenties may shift in your fifties, sixties, or seventies — and that’s perfectly natural. Quality moments often matter more than quantity.
If intimacy feels out of sync, consider bringing in support. Couples counseling or relationship coaching can give you both tools to communicate better, navigate changes together, and strengthen your bond.
Great Sex Over the Hill
Life’s one constant is that everything changes. Sex is no exception. While it may look different than it did in your younger years, there’s no reason to give up on intimacy, fun, or connection at any age.
The key is staying open — open with yourself, open with your partner, and open to exploring new ideas. That might mean learning about different options from trusted providers, talking honestly with your significant other about desires and expectations, or seeking outside support to strengthen communication and connection.
And remember: sometimes planning for intimacy makes it even more exciting. Treat it like a special date, and enjoy the anticipation as much as the moment itself.
1https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14634411/
2https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/urologic-diseases/erectile-dysfunction/symptoms-causes
