Sex is enjoyable and can bring a lot of positive energy into your life. It can lift your spirits, help you feel closer to your partner, and create a sense of relaxation. Many people also find that intimacy makes their relationships stronger and more fulfilling.
Sex can naturally change over time as you age, and that’s okay. It makes sense that youthful sex may grow into a different kind of intimacy as you get older or commit to one partner.
Still, it’s not uncommon to want more or to explore new things in your sex life. Below, we share some tips to try if you’re having less sex than you’d like or feel it isn’t as satisfying.
1. Get a Physical to Get More Physical
If you or your partner find it hard to get in the mood, a routine check-up can help you understand what might be going on. As people move into their late 30s and beyond, bodies naturally change, and that can affect intimacy.
For her, this may include shifts connected to menopause. For him, it may include changes that affect sexual performance. A doctor or specialist can walk you through options, answer questions, and suggest next steps if needed.
Think of a physical as a way to check in on your overall well-being. Talking openly with a provider ensures you’re not left guessing and helps you feel more confident moving forward in your intimate life.
2. Use Their Love Language
Foreplay can begin long before you’re physically intimate, and it doesn’t need to be complicated or time-consuming. Show your partner affection in ways that matter most to them, based on the five well-known love languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Physical touch
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
If you’re not sure which love language fits you or your partner best, try a simple online quiz together. It’s a fun way to learn more about each other, and it gives both of you a clear idea of how to show — and receive — love more meaningfully.
3. Take Care of Yourself
When you feel good in your own body, it’s easier to bring that energy into your intimate life. Taking care of yourself helps you feel more confident, more present, and more connected with your partner.
Cut back on heavy or processed foods when you can, and add more fresh and cooked vegetables to your meals. Limit alcohol, avoid smoking, and find movement you enjoy — whether it’s strength training, cardio, or something playful. Building healthy habits day by day supports your overall sense of well-being and can boost your stamina and confidence in the bedroom, too.
4. Address Size Concerns
Many men have concerns about their penis size. They may wish for more girth or length, even though most fall into the average range. In reality, a wide variety of shapes and sizes can be satisfying in the bedroom.
Still, worrying about size can create unnecessary stress. For those who want to explore their options, non-surgical penile enlargement procedures — such as hyaluronic acid girth enhancements — are available. Dermal fillers are designed to increase penile girth and create a fuller appearance.
If this is something you’re curious about, consult a qualified provider to learn more about what’s involved and whether it’s a fit for you.
5. Handle Stressors
Stress shows up everywhere — from work to family to raising kids. While you can’t always eliminate it, you can find better ways to handle it.
Consider working with a mental health coach who can help you unpack emotions and build healthier coping tools. Or, try free podcasts, online videos, or apps that guide you through shifting negative thoughts and self-talk into more positive ones.
6. Build Stamina
If you’d like to last longer during intimacy, practice and exploration can make a big difference. Masturbation is one way to experiment with pacing, while partnered sex gives you the chance to practice together.
How you approach it matters. Instead of rushing, take your time and notice how different rhythms feel. Some people enjoy using techniques like start-stop — pausing stimulation when arousal peaks and starting again once the intensity eases. Others like to add variety by experimenting with pauses or gentle squeezes.
Think of stamina as a skill you can play with and develop over time. Explore, try new approaches, and see what works best for you and your partner.
7. Quit Watching Porn
Porn often creates unrealistic fantasies about sex and relationships. Over time, those portrayals can shape expectations in ways that don’t match real-life intimacy. Instead of looking to actors on a screen for guidance, focus on learning what feels good and meaningful with your partner.
Better Sex Starts With You
There’s no quick fix for changing your intimate life, and that’s okay. Sex naturally shifts as you age or commit to one partner — and those changes are completely normal.
The good news is that you can take steps to shape your experiences in ways that feel right for you. Build healthy routines, let go of habits that don’t serve you, and, if you’re curious, talk to a professional about options like penis enhancements.
And remember, intimacy is a two-way street. Focusing on your partner’s pleasure as much as your own helps create more connection and enjoyment at any stage of life.
Infographic
As you age, your sexual experiences may change, which is completely normal. However, it’s common to seek variety or more from your sexual experiences. Discover this infographic for tips if you’re experiencing low or unsatisfying sexual activity.
